Finding Your North Star: A Journey from Goal-Setting to Purpose

In life, we’re often told to find our purpose, to do what we love, and to stay motivated by chasing our dreams. But how do you actually figure out what your purpose is? Today, I want to share a bit of my journey with you—a journey that transformed my approach from being purely goal-driven to discovering my North Star, a guiding principle that keeps me on track through the ups and downs of life.

From Goal-Setting to Finding a North Star

I’ve always been a goal-oriented person. Achieving the next milestone was what drove me: finishing high school, graduating from university, getting married, having kids, and starting a business. It was all about ticking off those boxes, one after the other. But once I had achieved those goals, I found myself asking, “What’s next?” The goal-oriented mindset had taken me far, but it left me feeling directionless once those milestones were met.

That’s when I realized that life is more than just a series of goals. What happens when the goals themselves become irrelevant, or when life throws challenges your way that make those goals seem insignificant? For me, this realization came during one of the hardest times in my life.

The Valley of Despair

Two years ago, my mother was diagnosed with cancer for the third time. Around the same time, my wife and I found out we were expecting our first child. I was also finishing my master’s degree. It was a time of conflicting priorities and overwhelming emotions. On one hand, I needed to complete my degree to secure a future job. On the other hand, my mother was dying, and my wife and I were preparing to welcome a new life into the world.

During this period, I began to understand what truly mattered to me. Despite the pressures of school and work, my family became my North Star. Being there for my mother and supporting my family through those tough times took precedence over everything else. Looking back, I’m grateful I made those decisions, even though they were incredibly difficult.

The Shift: From Milestones to a Guiding Star

This experience made me realize that I needed something more than just a list of goals. I needed a North Star—a guiding principle that would help me navigate through life’s challenges, while still allowing me to enjoy the journey. Unlike goals, which you can check off once they’re achieved, a North Star is something you continuously strive towards. It provides direction, but it’s not a destination you ever truly reach.

When you have a North Star, you can make decisions that align with your overarching purpose, even if it means taking a detour from your immediate goals. It gives you the flexibility to adapt to life’s uncertainties while staying true to what matters most.

How to Find Your North Star

So, how do you find your own North Star? Here are five questions that can guide you:

What matters most to you?
What motivates you to get out of bed each morning?
Where do you want to go?
Who do you want to become?
Who do you need to become to achieve your purpose?

Answering these questions can help you identify the core essence of your purpose. For me, my North Star became clear: I want to be the best man for my family, serving them as a God-honoring leader.

This guiding principle shapes every decision I make. It means that when faced with choices, I first consider what is best for my family. It also means that I strive to be a better man—humble, teachable, and always willing to grow—so that I can be a better father, husband, and leader.

The Journey Ahead

With my North Star in place, I’m building a business to provide for my family, which also allows me to make Family First decisions. I’m sharing this journey with you because I believe it’s important for all of us, especially fathers, to become the best versions of ourselves for our families. This journey isn’t easy, and it doesn’t always align with society’s expectations, but it’s the path I’ve chosen.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to join me on this journey. Subscribe to follow along as I continue to navigate the challenges of life, guided by my North Star.

Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you next time.